So, obviously the whole Pagan Blog Project thing doesn't work well for me. I think it is an absolutely fantastic idea. The problem for me is that I'm a writer, who doesn't much care for writing.
It's funny. For as long as I can remember, I've been an avid reader. And I mean literally for as long as I can remember back to my first memories as a child. I love to read. I'm a picky reader, though. I read for entertainment and for specific information. This means I mostly read sci-fi/fantasy, historical fiction, romance, and non-fiction only when I feel a particular need for it. Growing up everyone was always saying that I should be a writer when I grew up, since I love to read so much. Not really sure why people think loving to read stories and being capable of producing stories go hand in hand.
Often my biggest problem with writing is word or page counts. Usually in school one had to write a certain number of pages, double spaced. This sort of thing is often difficult for me as I tend to be very succinct, so unless I'm particularly interested in or passionate about a topic, it doesn't take me as long as usually required to say what I want to say or think needs to be said.
Problem two with writing for me is how my education in it started. Before moving to Indianapolis, my experience with writing involved having a topic and writing about it. It was graded for grammatical errors, spelling, coherency, appropriateness, and so forth. When I changed schools, I struggled with writing because all of a sudden I was supposed to start with a thesis statement. My only knowledge of a thesis statement was that it was how you started a thesis paper. One of those incredibly long papers one writes for graduate school or before getting a doctorate or when preparing a scientific treatise. I missed at whatever point my new school system first started teaching writing this way. I was repeatedly instructed that I was supposed to be discussing everything I was going to talk about in my essay in the thesis statement. But.... That's my essay. If I say what I'm going to be saying in my essay, especially with how straightforward and to the point I want to be, what's left for the rest of the essay? I managed to slide by somehow or another and with good grades. But since I didn't really, truly understand what I was supposed to be doing, my first year of college involved tears over my favorite professor telling me that I didn't know how to write a college level paper. It wasn't until my second year of college at a different college that someone managed to explain it to me in a way that I understood. It's like the topic sentence of a paragraph, only for the whole essay. -.- But by then writing had become associated with trauma in my mind and so writing assignments tend to make me anxious and on the verge of a panic attack.
This is one reason why the Pagan Blog Project didn't work out for me. I thought by making it so I had to write something each week, I'd be able to write something each week. Instead, it triggered the panic attack feelings. However, there's also reason two.
Reason two why the Pagan Blog Project didn't work out is that........ I've ended up becoming a professional writer. Yes, that's right, I get paid to write. I'm a freelance SEO writer. I write press releases, articles, and web page content. Oh, and blogs. Yup, as of this moment I've actually two blogs that I'm paid to write for weekly. One of the damn things requires two articles a week. This all started at the end of March and beginning of April. You may note that my last posting to this blog was on March 20. I just couldn't keep up with one more project that I was required to write.
But. I still want to do this blog. I still want an outlet for my thoughts and philosophies. Being an SEO writer, I know that having a successful blog means having regular posts. Weekly is best. Two or three times a week is even better. However, between my antipathy for the writing I have to do for pay, the need for a recreational outlet from work, and my family obligations, I can't commit to a regimented writing schedule for my blog. I'm not sure that I could even with all the free time in the world. Right now, I don't have a large "following" so I don't get much feedback, questions, or other inspiration about what people might want or need to hear from me. So, for the time being, my posts will be rather sporadic. Appearing when there's something I really think needs to be said or put out there.
If you enjoy my random little musings, please comment and share your thoughts. And/Or let others know about my blog, too. :) I've a few things I'm considering writing about, but some of those family obligation things are in need of attention, so it will have to wait!
