Posting number eight for the Pagan Blog Project.
I've noticed that it is sometimes difficult to pin Pagans down to a particular date and time for an activity, let alone get them to commit to a long term schedule. I even find myself doing it. There's just always something that interferes: family, school, social plans, work, kids, distance and a myriad of other responsibilities and excuses. Now I'm not saying these aren't valid reasons to not be dedicated to religious attendance and that they aren't important activities in our lives. But. It bothers me. Especially, lately, when I've been trying to determine the best time to set up for a meet-up. There are Christian churches, practically on every corner in some places, that are full of people who go every Sunday at 10:00am (or there about). Some of us went to one of these regularly at some point in our lives. Although, mine met at 2:00 p.m. on Saturday, and we couldn't work or play from sundown Friday night to sundown Saturday night. So, why is it so hard to be dedicated now? To something that we supposedly feel so strongly about?
I think some of our issues with dedication has to do with timing. Most Pagan events and activities occur at night on weekends, and so do most social activities, extracurricular activities such as sports and concerts, family dinners, and second shift jobs. And weekend afternoons are often taken up with all the things that we can't do during the week due to work, such as grocery shopping and extra family time. Weeknights are spent relaxing after work, spending time with family, and children's activities like sports practice. That leaves us with weekend mornings, when many people wish to sleep in because they can. And Gods know, it's hard to argue with that one. I love my sleep!
But something has to give if we truly want to be involved with other people. If you've been having a hard time in this area, take some time think about where you want to go with your path and what you're willing to do to get there. Figure out you're excuses and what you can do about them. Then figure out what's really holding you back. Maybe you have all these excuses because there's something you're afraid of or unsure about. Maybe you don't really want to be in a group or that group. But if you find that you do want to be a part of a pagan group, figure out how to make it work. If so many of other faiths can carve out a time every week, we can do it, too.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
D is for Dragon Spirit Tradition
Posting number 7 for the Pagan Blog Project. Dragon Spirit Tradition is my brainchild of over at least
10 years of study of ancient religions and cultures, other contemporary
groups, general anthropology, and psychology. If one counts my
tentative questions as a child and fascination with the ancient
mythologies and cultures, it's really something I've been working on my
whole life.
We are a highly intellectual and eclectic tradition of Contemporary Paganism that combines panentheism, duotheism, polytheism and animism. We believe that the Divine speaks to us in the manner we are each most likely to hear and respond to in an active (hopefully positive and constructive) manner. Have you ever noticed that every, single religion practiced today has "true believers?" People who believe they've had some sort of experience that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that whatever they believe in must be true and real. Maybe there's a good reason for that. Notice I said maybe. We aren't talking about absolutes. While reasonable explanations can be found, we acknowledge that there could be other valid explanations. It's just that we like our explanations. :)
Pagans. Yes, Yes, I hear you nit-pickers! Technically, the word pagan is from the Latin adjective paganus meaning "rural", "rustic", or "of the country." Or as a noun meaning "country dweller" or "villager". Some even claim it was used as a pejorative like hick, redneck, or country bumpkin. Well, whatever it might have once meant, today it is a pop culture umbrella term for those who are just plain not Judeo-Christian and/or those who favor nature based, polytheistic religions.
We use the term "contemporary" because the Tradition isn't something that existed in the past, although it is heavily influenced and inspired by ancient history. At the most basic, we see it as something similar to the Unitarian Universalists, but with a more decided Pagan influence and practices. We've come to feel that all religions have something of value to contribute to one's personal growth and spirituality. If one were to take a look at each religion (of light/good) with both an objective and idealized view, one would see that at the heart of all religions are guidelines for being a good person. The differences are in the accessories.
We are eclectic because we believe in using the best tool possible for the job and don't wish to limit our "toolbox" by adhering to only one brand, as it were.
We are an intellectual group in that we expect members to be able to read, research, study, experiment, and report back on findings. It's okay if one needs guidance in these areas or help getting started. However, if you're looking for a group to spoon feed you all the information you need or will ever need to know: this might not be the place for you.
If you should decide to study with the Kindred of the Dragon Spirits, you will find that one of the biggest differences is that we go into detail about why we believe something to be the way it is or why we do something a certain way. Just because something's been done a certain way for (insert number of years) by (insert large number)s of people, doesn't make it worth believing or doing. What makes something worth believing or doing is if it makes sense and works for you. The whole point of our study groups, Hearths, are to help people find what makes sense and works for them, even if it's not with us.
We are a highly intellectual and eclectic tradition of Contemporary Paganism that combines panentheism, duotheism, polytheism and animism. We believe that the Divine speaks to us in the manner we are each most likely to hear and respond to in an active (hopefully positive and constructive) manner. Have you ever noticed that every, single religion practiced today has "true believers?" People who believe they've had some sort of experience that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that whatever they believe in must be true and real. Maybe there's a good reason for that. Notice I said maybe. We aren't talking about absolutes. While reasonable explanations can be found, we acknowledge that there could be other valid explanations. It's just that we like our explanations. :)
Pagans. Yes, Yes, I hear you nit-pickers! Technically, the word pagan is from the Latin adjective paganus meaning "rural", "rustic", or "of the country." Or as a noun meaning "country dweller" or "villager". Some even claim it was used as a pejorative like hick, redneck, or country bumpkin. Well, whatever it might have once meant, today it is a pop culture umbrella term for those who are just plain not Judeo-Christian and/or those who favor nature based, polytheistic religions.
We use the term "contemporary" because the Tradition isn't something that existed in the past, although it is heavily influenced and inspired by ancient history. At the most basic, we see it as something similar to the Unitarian Universalists, but with a more decided Pagan influence and practices. We've come to feel that all religions have something of value to contribute to one's personal growth and spirituality. If one were to take a look at each religion (of light/good) with both an objective and idealized view, one would see that at the heart of all religions are guidelines for being a good person. The differences are in the accessories.
We are eclectic because we believe in using the best tool possible for the job and don't wish to limit our "toolbox" by adhering to only one brand, as it were.
We are an intellectual group in that we expect members to be able to read, research, study, experiment, and report back on findings. It's okay if one needs guidance in these areas or help getting started. However, if you're looking for a group to spoon feed you all the information you need or will ever need to know: this might not be the place for you.
If you should decide to study with the Kindred of the Dragon Spirits, you will find that one of the biggest differences is that we go into detail about why we believe something to be the way it is or why we do something a certain way. Just because something's been done a certain way for (insert number of years) by (insert large number)s of people, doesn't make it worth believing or doing. What makes something worth believing or doing is if it makes sense and works for you. The whole point of our study groups, Hearths, are to help people find what makes sense and works for them, even if it's not with us.
C is for Candle Magic
Posting number 6 for the Pagan Blog Project! This one might be one that is a pretty "common" type topic, but it's one of my favorite ways to do a magical working. I've included two examples of candle gardens: one for winter and one for spring since we are rather in between those two seasons right now.
Magic for me means working with a combination of tools at one time. And with a candle garden, so very many tools can be incorporated. If it exists, it can be used in a candle garden. Popular items to use for candle gardens are flowers, crystals, mirrors/glass, colored and/or scented candles, tarot cards, pictures, elemental associations, and deity representations. The options for candle gardens are just endless from the simple to the complex. Candle gardens are an excellent tool for use in group magics, as well, because each person can contribute some thing or things. The task of organizing your collective things creates a bond with the group members boosting the power of the candle garden.
Often in magic we are told each item used should have a specific purpose towards the working. But, in my opinion, at least, the objects chosen for a candle garden don't have to relate directly to your working. I call these accessory items boosters. They are there for beauty and effect, which boosts your energy and connection to the working. Besides being for a specific magical working, candle gardens can be used as devotional tools, made in honor of a particular deity or season or in celebration of some special event. As such the items you choose are most likely based on their ascetic or emotional value, not their magical value.
Candle gardens speak to and for us on many levels. The most obvious, of course, is sight. Looking at a completed candle garden is a beautiful thing. (Unless you were going for something different, I suppose.) Another subtle way they speak to us can be through smell, if one uses scented candles or incorporates incense. A large enough candle garden can emit enough heat to be felt. Giving your candle garden a musical accompaniment can give it a voice to be heard. The fire light, the colors, any scents, the objects themselves, as well as how they all fit together speaks to and feeds our spirits.
 | |
| A Winter Themed Candle Garden |
Magic for me means working with a combination of tools at one time. And with a candle garden, so very many tools can be incorporated. If it exists, it can be used in a candle garden. Popular items to use for candle gardens are flowers, crystals, mirrors/glass, colored and/or scented candles, tarot cards, pictures, elemental associations, and deity representations. The options for candle gardens are just endless from the simple to the complex. Candle gardens are an excellent tool for use in group magics, as well, because each person can contribute some thing or things. The task of organizing your collective things creates a bond with the group members boosting the power of the candle garden.
Often in magic we are told each item used should have a specific purpose towards the working. But, in my opinion, at least, the objects chosen for a candle garden don't have to relate directly to your working. I call these accessory items boosters. They are there for beauty and effect, which boosts your energy and connection to the working. Besides being for a specific magical working, candle gardens can be used as devotional tools, made in honor of a particular deity or season or in celebration of some special event. As such the items you choose are most likely based on their ascetic or emotional value, not their magical value.
 | |
| A Spring Themed Candle Garden |
Candle gardens speak to and for us on many levels. The most obvious, of course, is sight. Looking at a completed candle garden is a beautiful thing. (Unless you were going for something different, I suppose.) Another subtle way they speak to us can be through smell, if one uses scented candles or incorporates incense. A large enough candle garden can emit enough heat to be felt. Giving your candle garden a musical accompaniment can give it a voice to be heard. The fire light, the colors, any scents, the objects themselves, as well as how they all fit together speaks to and feeds our spirits.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
C is for Cats
Posting number 5 for the Pagan Blog Project.
I don't really like posting about things that there's already a ton of information to be found. I feel like I'm just repeating what others have already said, and maybe even said better. If it appears on here, it's because I have a different take on the subject than most people do or because it's just so important to me that the ideas bear repeating. For this blog posting, cats came to mind because they are so very, very popular as pets and familiars. There's lots of information to be found concerning cats, so I'm sharing a poem that I wrote some years ago in regards to my cat familiar, Elminster, a large, beautiful tabby Maine Coon.
I don't really like posting about things that there's already a ton of information to be found. I feel like I'm just repeating what others have already said, and maybe even said better. If it appears on here, it's because I have a different take on the subject than most people do or because it's just so important to me that the ideas bear repeating. For this blog posting, cats came to mind because they are so very, very popular as pets and familiars. There's lots of information to be found concerning cats, so I'm sharing a poem that I wrote some years ago in regards to my cat familiar, Elminster, a large, beautiful tabby Maine Coon.
Familiar Friend
My familiar friend,
my near constant companion.
You are so very dear to me.
You make me laugh and smile.
You make me feel special and loved.
my near constant companion.
You are so very dear to me.
You make me laugh and smile.
You make me feel special and loved.
I especially love the way you cuddle up to me at night,
how happy you are to see me when I've been away.
Your agitation when you don't know where I am
and your persistence in finding me
is quite adorable and endearing.
You always seem to know when I'm feeling down.
how happy you are to see me when I've been away.
Your agitation when you don't know where I am
and your persistence in finding me
is quite adorable and endearing.
You always seem to know when I'm feeling down.
However...
I could do without you jumping out at me,
when you're feeling playful.
Although, in its way, it does make me laugh.
You manage to be fat and hairy and cute,
when so many others can't be all those things.
My dear and loyal friend,
steadfast and true,
gone in a blink of large, golden eyes,
at the clink, clink, clink
of food falling into your cat bowl,
by the hand of anyone at all.
I could do without you jumping out at me,
when you're feeling playful.
Although, in its way, it does make me laugh.
You manage to be fat and hairy and cute,
when so many others can't be all those things.
My dear and loyal friend,
steadfast and true,
gone in a blink of large, golden eyes,
at the clink, clink, clink
of food falling into your cat bowl,
by the hand of anyone at all.
B is for Beliefs
Posting number four in the Pagan Blog Project. This is taken from a lesson plan that I'm writing for a discussion group/class on the Roots of Religion.
What are Beliefs?
New Oxford American
Dictionary:
1. an acceptance that a
statement is true or that something exists
2. something one accepts as true
or real; a firmly held opinion or conviction
3. a religious conviction
Merriam-Webster:
1. a state or habit of mind in
which trust or confidence is placed in some person or thing
2. something believed;
especially: a tenet or body of tenets
held by a group
3. a conviction of the truth of
some statement or the reality of some being or phenomenon especially when based
on examination of evidence
Dragon Spirit Tradition Definition: Something that can’t be proven (or is currently unproven) that a person or group holds to be true because it seems to make sense and is, therefore, a satisfactory explanation for an otherwise unexplainable experience or concept.
Why Do We Have Religion and Beliefs?
Beliefs
explain experiences. People need
explanations. Not only do we need
explanations, but we need explanations that make sense on a personal
level. Because everyone thinks
differently, there are different explanations for the same experiences. Because there is no way to prove most beliefs
that exist today, there’s no way to have an explanation that every single
person can agree with.
Ironically,
in the arena of religion versus science, religion was the original
science. Religion and science became two
different branches for explaining experiences because some beliefs were proven
to be true and others to not be true. We
now know why the sun rises and sets; why there are different seasons; why
plants grow (or don’t grow); why an eclipse happens; how weather patterns work;
why there’s thunder and lightning; and many other things that people once
attributed to supernatural beings and/or magic.
B is for Blood
My third posting for the Pagan Blog Project. I chose this one to branch out of my comfort levels. As a kid, the sight or thought of blood made me feel light-headed and queasy. Being a girl, I had to learn to deal with it on a certain level because of menstruation. Just before I turned 16, a child I was babysitting slid on his bike and had a nasty scrape of his whole knee. Being the only person available to deal with it, I focused my will, isolated the urge to panic, and shut it away, so that I could take of him. My first husband had an even worse ability to deal with things like blood and needles, so I learned to further control my reactions because someone had to deal with the kids' accidents. Then there's my hypothyroidism, which requires frequent blood draws. I've passed out twice from those as a young adult, but not recently. Then came Paganism. Blood is acknowledged as powerful in every Trad I've learned about, but many do not actively use blood magic or restrict it to consecrating personal tools. And in my early studies, that was fine with me since I'm still squeamish about blood and needles and pain, if I think too hard about it. And in some ways, there's certainly good reason to be cautious about using blood magics. Blood magic also tends to be considered as potentially evil, especially since it's so easy to misuse. Lol, sometimes it feels rather like the first rule of blood magic is don't talk about blood magic. This idea is followed by, "Keep it secret. Keep it safe." Through my studies I've come to learn that blood magic has it's place and is indeed a very powerful tool. Most of my experience has to do with oaths and bindings. If nothing else, requiring a blood oath shows how committed someone is to an idea. By swearing a blood oath, you show not only those requiring it, but yourself just how far you are willing to go for a particular idea. While one sees dramatic hand slashing in movies when people make blood oaths (think of Kevin Costner in Robin Hood), just a drop from a pinprick is all it takes to make an oath binding.
One of the reasons blood magics are so secretive is that they are often used to bind people to secrecy. As such there is very little that I can share about my personal experiences with blood workings. I can tell you that the power in a blood binding is very real. Dissolving a blood binding, even as a requirement as part of advancing a degree, where one might have to dissolve one bind before taking on a higher binding, has a tangible, almost physical sensation. My experiences serve me by being both awe inspiring and cautionary. There is a great deal of power in the use blood magics, but to quote another movie, "With great power, comes great responsibility." Be prepared.
Before taking or requiring a blood oath, consider a few things. Obviously, you need to consider if you truly wish to make this oath (or other kind of working). If you have any reservations, even just one, think long and hard about those reservations. Maybe even put off the oath to give yourself more time to be sure. If the oath binders don't wish to give you more time, perhaps it's a sign that this isn't a good idea. No one should ever be rushed or forced into a blood oath. The bindings and consequences are too serious, too potentially dangerous. Think about not only today, but tomorrow. Are you prepared to deal with the consequences of your oath/working, should circumstances change? Can you accept that there may be consequences, either positive or negative, that you couldn't possibly foresee? After you've considered all these things and any other ideas an oath binder might suggest you consider, consider again. And, at least, once more. Make sure you are truly prepared to bind your physical life force to another person, group, idea, or working. Make sure it's worth it.
One of the reasons blood magics are so secretive is that they are often used to bind people to secrecy. As such there is very little that I can share about my personal experiences with blood workings. I can tell you that the power in a blood binding is very real. Dissolving a blood binding, even as a requirement as part of advancing a degree, where one might have to dissolve one bind before taking on a higher binding, has a tangible, almost physical sensation. My experiences serve me by being both awe inspiring and cautionary. There is a great deal of power in the use blood magics, but to quote another movie, "With great power, comes great responsibility." Be prepared.
Before taking or requiring a blood oath, consider a few things. Obviously, you need to consider if you truly wish to make this oath (or other kind of working). If you have any reservations, even just one, think long and hard about those reservations. Maybe even put off the oath to give yourself more time to be sure. If the oath binders don't wish to give you more time, perhaps it's a sign that this isn't a good idea. No one should ever be rushed or forced into a blood oath. The bindings and consequences are too serious, too potentially dangerous. Think about not only today, but tomorrow. Are you prepared to deal with the consequences of your oath/working, should circumstances change? Can you accept that there may be consequences, either positive or negative, that you couldn't possibly foresee? After you've considered all these things and any other ideas an oath binder might suggest you consider, consider again. And, at least, once more. Make sure you are truly prepared to bind your physical life force to another person, group, idea, or working. Make sure it's worth it.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
A is for Alcohol
Blog 2 of the Pagan Blog Project. I'm attempting a theme of one serious blog and one fun blog per letter.
Alcohol, Ale, Aqua Vitae (the water of life), and too many other names and varieties encompassing the alphabet to name here. Alcohol has been connected with religion, worship, and medicine for all of recorded history. The first trace evidence of alcoholic beverages actually goes back to the prehistoric Stone Age around 10, 000 B.C. in the form of beer jugs. Wine appears in ancient Egyptian pictographs around 4000 B.C. Ancient, Ancient Egypt had many local gods and few "national" gods, but Osiris, the god believed to have invented beer, was universally worshiped. Alcohol is mentioned in the famous Hamarabi's Code of around 1750 B.C. in regards to fair commerce.
While it is documented that all ancient cultures used alcohol for religious, medicinal, and social purposes, it is also documented that they nearly all wrote against over use of alcohol. Even the excessive Greeks and Romans, famous for their drunken orgies, apparently only approved of drunkenness during symposia (with a few cultural exceptions and a large portion of the declining years). While there have been attempts at Prohibition a few times over world history, it has never been successfully enforced or maintained. Science has actually proven that far from being harmful in moderate quantities, drinking various kinds of alcohol can actually be good for you as well. Fermentation of any kind can actually increase the amount of nutrients in foods, which is why fermenting is so popular among movements like Cooking Traditional Foods.
As a gift of the gods, there are a number of gods/goddesses throughout history related to alcohol in some way: Osiris, Bacchus/Dionysus, Ninkasi, Aegir, Tezcatzontecatl, Mbaba Mwana Waresa, just to name a few. Alcohol is a common part of many rituals from the Catholic Communion to the the Judaic Passover service to the Pagan Cakes and Ale. As well as being consumed by worshipers, libations are often poured in honor of a deity or other supernatural being.
So, here's to me
And here's to you
Lift your glass to the gods
And praise be for alcohol
For more details on the history of alcohol, fun facts, and problems visit Alcohol: Problems and Solutions.
Alcohol, Ale, Aqua Vitae (the water of life), and too many other names and varieties encompassing the alphabet to name here. Alcohol has been connected with religion, worship, and medicine for all of recorded history. The first trace evidence of alcoholic beverages actually goes back to the prehistoric Stone Age around 10, 000 B.C. in the form of beer jugs. Wine appears in ancient Egyptian pictographs around 4000 B.C. Ancient, Ancient Egypt had many local gods and few "national" gods, but Osiris, the god believed to have invented beer, was universally worshiped. Alcohol is mentioned in the famous Hamarabi's Code of around 1750 B.C. in regards to fair commerce.
While it is documented that all ancient cultures used alcohol for religious, medicinal, and social purposes, it is also documented that they nearly all wrote against over use of alcohol. Even the excessive Greeks and Romans, famous for their drunken orgies, apparently only approved of drunkenness during symposia (with a few cultural exceptions and a large portion of the declining years). While there have been attempts at Prohibition a few times over world history, it has never been successfully enforced or maintained. Science has actually proven that far from being harmful in moderate quantities, drinking various kinds of alcohol can actually be good for you as well. Fermentation of any kind can actually increase the amount of nutrients in foods, which is why fermenting is so popular among movements like Cooking Traditional Foods.
As a gift of the gods, there are a number of gods/goddesses throughout history related to alcohol in some way: Osiris, Bacchus/Dionysus, Ninkasi, Aegir, Tezcatzontecatl, Mbaba Mwana Waresa, just to name a few. Alcohol is a common part of many rituals from the Catholic Communion to the the Judaic Passover service to the Pagan Cakes and Ale. As well as being consumed by worshipers, libations are often poured in honor of a deity or other supernatural being.
So, here's to me
And here's to you
Lift your glass to the gods
And praise be for alcohol
For more details on the history of alcohol, fun facts, and problems visit Alcohol: Problems and Solutions.
Friday, February 17, 2012
A is for Accountability
Ok, peoples, prepare to be inundated with blog postings from me for a couple days! Thanks to Natalie and Laurelei Black, I've discovered The Pagan Blog Project 2012 and decided to participate. However, joining late I've decided to catch up in blog posts, not simply start where there are on I think letter D.
In my opinion, Accountability is one of the most important things I've learned from being a Pagan and from studying psychology. Growing up as a Christian I was taught that Jesus died for our sins and all is forgiven. Which is all well and good, but it always struck me as a bit unfair. Mother Theresa on equal footing with a serial killer on death row who says he's sorry and receives absolution from a priest. This kind of philosophy seems to lend itself to the idea of doing whatever you want because as long as you ask for forgiveness it will be granted, the slate wiped clean. What's the point of doing the right thing, then? Sure, one could argue the benefits are knowing that you've done the right thing. That's a real pretty ideal, but I can tell you from experience working in customer service that it doesn't play out that way in the real world. All things being equal, people will only work as hard as they need to in order to keep their job. Very few people are willing to go the extra mile without some kind of compensation, be it extra pay or simple recognition. It's depressing if you are doing extra work and receiving the same compensation as the slacker. And what's more, one is likely to be looked down upon by ones co-workers for making them look bad, even if there's still no difference in how everyone is treated.
Everyone knows the popular saying, "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions." Meaning that if you try to do something good but it ends badly, it's the same as if you'd just done something bad. Well, I don't buy into that idea either. What a horrible concept to be damned because you tried to do the right thing.
So, what does that leave us with? Accountability: an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or one's actions (Merriam-Webster). We can only control our own actions and reactions. Ideally, our actions should be guided by what we feel to be right and appropriate. It's a difficult concept to understand that we always have a choice. The excuse, "I had no choice," is always a fallacy. It's like one of those trick questions on tests. If the statement includes the terms always or never, it's a false statement. If someone puts a gun to your head and says give me all your money or I'll kill you, you have choices. They may not be good ones or ones that you are willing to choose, but they are choices. One of the truly hard choices to feel in control of have to do with our emotions. And this for me is a gray area. Psychology has taught me that we choose to feel hurt or angry by what someone says, not that they make or force us to feel that way. And yet, psychiatrists treat people for damage from verbal and emotional abuse. "Sticks and stone may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" is not true. Words can and do hurt and what's worse, it's hard to prove because they leave no physical wounds or scars or evidence. But, in my opinion, I think people can make us feel things, but what we do have a choice about is what we do with that pain, anger, and hurt.
Being accountable for our actions means not blaming others for when things go wrong or only giving ourselves credit when things go well. Being accountable for our actions means accepting the consequences. It means looking in the mirror for what we could have done better in a situation, not what someone else could have done differently. It's a hard, hard thing to do. It's easier to believe that someone else is at fault. And you know what? There are certainly times when it is someone else that is at fault, but dwelling on that isn't going to get you anywhere positive. I think we have a right to defend ourselves and do what's necessary when we have the option to do so. But in cases where proving who was right or wrong won't make a difference, it's a waste of time and energy and can bring you to a place of negativity that can carry over into other parts of your life. If you can have this mindset most of the time (we're only human after all, so expecting all the time is unreasonable), you will develop a more positive, less stressful, and more peaceful outlook on all aspects of your life. For me it has also manifested as an ability to be still in my mind. There was a time when I read near constantly, only went to bed when I was certain to fall asleep right away, and avoided meditation like the plague because I couldn't stand the pain from the direction my thoughts would go if left idle. But now that I can accept what I could have done differently and what I could not have ever controlled (how someone else acted), I can find that still, calm place in my heart and soul and devote my thoughts to more positive ideas and direction. I am moving forward instead of feeling so stuck. I thank the Powers That Be as often as I think about it for teaching me this lesson.
In my opinion, Accountability is one of the most important things I've learned from being a Pagan and from studying psychology. Growing up as a Christian I was taught that Jesus died for our sins and all is forgiven. Which is all well and good, but it always struck me as a bit unfair. Mother Theresa on equal footing with a serial killer on death row who says he's sorry and receives absolution from a priest. This kind of philosophy seems to lend itself to the idea of doing whatever you want because as long as you ask for forgiveness it will be granted, the slate wiped clean. What's the point of doing the right thing, then? Sure, one could argue the benefits are knowing that you've done the right thing. That's a real pretty ideal, but I can tell you from experience working in customer service that it doesn't play out that way in the real world. All things being equal, people will only work as hard as they need to in order to keep their job. Very few people are willing to go the extra mile without some kind of compensation, be it extra pay or simple recognition. It's depressing if you are doing extra work and receiving the same compensation as the slacker. And what's more, one is likely to be looked down upon by ones co-workers for making them look bad, even if there's still no difference in how everyone is treated.
Everyone knows the popular saying, "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions." Meaning that if you try to do something good but it ends badly, it's the same as if you'd just done something bad. Well, I don't buy into that idea either. What a horrible concept to be damned because you tried to do the right thing.
So, what does that leave us with? Accountability: an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or one's actions (Merriam-Webster). We can only control our own actions and reactions. Ideally, our actions should be guided by what we feel to be right and appropriate. It's a difficult concept to understand that we always have a choice. The excuse, "I had no choice," is always a fallacy. It's like one of those trick questions on tests. If the statement includes the terms always or never, it's a false statement. If someone puts a gun to your head and says give me all your money or I'll kill you, you have choices. They may not be good ones or ones that you are willing to choose, but they are choices. One of the truly hard choices to feel in control of have to do with our emotions. And this for me is a gray area. Psychology has taught me that we choose to feel hurt or angry by what someone says, not that they make or force us to feel that way. And yet, psychiatrists treat people for damage from verbal and emotional abuse. "Sticks and stone may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" is not true. Words can and do hurt and what's worse, it's hard to prove because they leave no physical wounds or scars or evidence. But, in my opinion, I think people can make us feel things, but what we do have a choice about is what we do with that pain, anger, and hurt.
Being accountable for our actions means not blaming others for when things go wrong or only giving ourselves credit when things go well. Being accountable for our actions means accepting the consequences. It means looking in the mirror for what we could have done better in a situation, not what someone else could have done differently. It's a hard, hard thing to do. It's easier to believe that someone else is at fault. And you know what? There are certainly times when it is someone else that is at fault, but dwelling on that isn't going to get you anywhere positive. I think we have a right to defend ourselves and do what's necessary when we have the option to do so. But in cases where proving who was right or wrong won't make a difference, it's a waste of time and energy and can bring you to a place of negativity that can carry over into other parts of your life. If you can have this mindset most of the time (we're only human after all, so expecting all the time is unreasonable), you will develop a more positive, less stressful, and more peaceful outlook on all aspects of your life. For me it has also manifested as an ability to be still in my mind. There was a time when I read near constantly, only went to bed when I was certain to fall asleep right away, and avoided meditation like the plague because I couldn't stand the pain from the direction my thoughts would go if left idle. But now that I can accept what I could have done differently and what I could not have ever controlled (how someone else acted), I can find that still, calm place in my heart and soul and devote my thoughts to more positive ideas and direction. I am moving forward instead of feeling so stuck. I thank the Powers That Be as often as I think about it for teaching me this lesson.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Imbolc: The Spark of Newness
There's lots of information to be found on Imbolc (Candlemass, Brighidmass, etc) if one Google's the term, so I'm not posting any of that sort of information here today.
When I was a kid, I thought that the Vernal Equinox must have been the first day of the year in ancient times. In Spanish, spring is primavera, which is related to words for beginning or first. I was shocked when I learned the ancient pagans considered the time around Samhain to be the transition of a new year. It took some time before I could say, well, ok, yes, that's definitely a time when it's clear the year is "old." But there's no beginning after that. Winter is the rest time. As a more mature adult, and one who has had four kids now, I see it a bit differently. Best to begin a new project with rest, planning, more rest, thinking, more rest, etc.
A blog I read recently (The Confusion of Imbolc) pointed out that Imbolc is the only holiday that isn't the same for everyone, everywhere. (And by that I mean those of us in the northern hemisphere, as, of course, the bottom half of the world is celebrating something totally different.) For some parts of the northern hemisphere, new life has actually visibly started to show up. Where I am and to the north, no such things are going on, or at least, not usually. (This winter has been a bit mixed up.) Some people celebrate it in honor of Brighid specifically, making it according to the blog the only one of the 8 traditional Pagan holidays in reverence to a particular deity. Although, on further reflection, I don't think that's not precisely true. Lammas, sometimes called Lughnassadh, is often celebrated in honor of Lugh. Ironically, it is exactly opposite Imbolc, and Lugh is something of a male counterpart to Brighid. I should comment about that later. On checking on that, it appears someone already made that point. But the Equinox's and Solstices are all pretty much focused on the same concepts for everyone and so is Beltaine, the harvest holidays, and Samhain.
But regardless of to whom or for what it's celebrated, the central theme is still the spark of "newness," life/thoughts/ideas, etc. It's my theory that it may have been one of the reasons we have New Year's resolutions. Many Imbolc rituals have to do with planning for new goals for the year, in lighting our creative spark. But where New Year's resolutions fail is that making the resolution doesn't do much good without a solid plan. I think the best part of Imbolc is that it encourages people to have a plan or if not a specific plan, at least asking Brighid for help and support in our endeavor. Support is also something people don't consider when making goals and even plans, but just having someone just to bounce ideas off of or to offer encouragement can make the difference between success and failure. For example, programs to help people quit smoking usually suggest you have a buddy or support person. Gym buddies help us stay on task, too. Regardless of what people say about needing to do things for yourself, not letting someone else down is a pretty big motivator, too. People often will go above and beyond for someone else, but not do as much for themselves.
I've already started my Imbolc resolution and planning. My goal for this year isn't exactly for any one specific, tangible thing to accomplish. In years past it's been things like have a baby or make money. This year my goal is to not let fear get in the way of any opportunities that present themselves or that I could make happen, to not let my self-doubts get in the way. In other words, not to let the risks involved get in the way, to not just take the safe road. I'm going to make things happen this year, not wait for someone else to help me make things happen. Part of that goal is the making of this blog and not worrying whether or not anyone is actually reading it, yet. If you are reading this, it's because I've already taken steps to help myself get out into the world. But, if you are reading this, and like my little postings, I could use some help getting myself out there, so please follow, comment, and share my blog with others!
And good luck to all of you in getting your creative spark going!
When I was a kid, I thought that the Vernal Equinox must have been the first day of the year in ancient times. In Spanish, spring is primavera, which is related to words for beginning or first. I was shocked when I learned the ancient pagans considered the time around Samhain to be the transition of a new year. It took some time before I could say, well, ok, yes, that's definitely a time when it's clear the year is "old." But there's no beginning after that. Winter is the rest time. As a more mature adult, and one who has had four kids now, I see it a bit differently. Best to begin a new project with rest, planning, more rest, thinking, more rest, etc.
A blog I read recently (The Confusion of Imbolc) pointed out that Imbolc is the only holiday that isn't the same for everyone, everywhere. (And by that I mean those of us in the northern hemisphere, as, of course, the bottom half of the world is celebrating something totally different.) For some parts of the northern hemisphere, new life has actually visibly started to show up. Where I am and to the north, no such things are going on, or at least, not usually. (This winter has been a bit mixed up.) Some people celebrate it in honor of Brighid specifically, making it according to the blog the only one of the 8 traditional Pagan holidays in reverence to a particular deity. Although, on further reflection, I don't think that's not precisely true. Lammas, sometimes called Lughnassadh, is often celebrated in honor of Lugh. Ironically, it is exactly opposite Imbolc, and Lugh is something of a male counterpart to Brighid. I should comment about that later. On checking on that, it appears someone already made that point. But the Equinox's and Solstices are all pretty much focused on the same concepts for everyone and so is Beltaine, the harvest holidays, and Samhain.
But regardless of to whom or for what it's celebrated, the central theme is still the spark of "newness," life/thoughts/ideas, etc. It's my theory that it may have been one of the reasons we have New Year's resolutions. Many Imbolc rituals have to do with planning for new goals for the year, in lighting our creative spark. But where New Year's resolutions fail is that making the resolution doesn't do much good without a solid plan. I think the best part of Imbolc is that it encourages people to have a plan or if not a specific plan, at least asking Brighid for help and support in our endeavor. Support is also something people don't consider when making goals and even plans, but just having someone just to bounce ideas off of or to offer encouragement can make the difference between success and failure. For example, programs to help people quit smoking usually suggest you have a buddy or support person. Gym buddies help us stay on task, too. Regardless of what people say about needing to do things for yourself, not letting someone else down is a pretty big motivator, too. People often will go above and beyond for someone else, but not do as much for themselves.
I've already started my Imbolc resolution and planning. My goal for this year isn't exactly for any one specific, tangible thing to accomplish. In years past it's been things like have a baby or make money. This year my goal is to not let fear get in the way of any opportunities that present themselves or that I could make happen, to not let my self-doubts get in the way. In other words, not to let the risks involved get in the way, to not just take the safe road. I'm going to make things happen this year, not wait for someone else to help me make things happen. Part of that goal is the making of this blog and not worrying whether or not anyone is actually reading it, yet. If you are reading this, it's because I've already taken steps to help myself get out into the world. But, if you are reading this, and like my little postings, I could use some help getting myself out there, so please follow, comment, and share my blog with others!
And good luck to all of you in getting your creative spark going!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)